There is hope for every relationship. Watch this video and read on to learn how to fix a broken marriage, starting today.
But what will happen is you'll enter into another dysfunctional relationship. And many times when someone has been divorced and they're not free then to remarry what happens during that time because of the way God wired us, the person who divorced them gets involved with another person and then and then they are free to remarry.
And that is a time in their life where they have matured, where they can enter into that marriage with God's blessing and with emotional stability. Now you are saying the scripture says the only Biblical divorce is one for adultery, that's what Jesus says. You know back in the 1970s when I was growing up, for the very first time they allowed people to get a divorce in America for irreconcilable differences, whatever that means.
Jesus doesn't mention irreconcilable differences. You can't get married for that, you can't get married for stupidity. You can't say, well I'm going to get a divorce because I was stupid and I married the wrong person, okay, you're stupid but you can't get a divorce. You can't get a divorce because you've had a change of taste, I thought I liked brunettes and now I like blondes get her to change her hair but you can't divorce her.
You can't get a divorce for the kids. Oh my goodness I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard that, we're gonna get a divorce for the benefit of the kids cuz when we were together we are always yelling. Stop yelling. There's an easier way to fix this. Besides hurting your personal growth by hurting your kids, hurting your witness, deal with the problems instead of running from the problem.
And then I've heard people say, well I'm gonna get a divorce because I really believe God wants me to be happy. Where's that verse? Where's the verse that you separate that which God has put together because God wants you to be happy? Let me tell you something, show me the verse that says, God wants you happy more than He wants you to grow.
That God wants you to be more happy than He wants to meet the needs of your children. That He wants you happy more than He wants to represent a model of intimacy and unconditional love to the world and for God to be glorified. Your happiness is not more important than your personal growth.
The development of your kids spiritually or the reputation of God. And yet there are times when adultery is involved. And when adultery is involved according to Jesus then divorce is allowed, not only divorce but remarriage to someone else. You say well, Steve I thought God Hated divorce it does it says it in Malachi, God hates divorce but he also hates adultery.
And when someone has committed adultery the divorce does not end the marriage, the adultery ends the marriage. All divorce is a declaration of something that is already reality, now there is not a command in the Bible that if your spouse commits adultery you must divorce them. But what you have to find out is if you have to find out if your repentance of your spouse is sincere.
And if it is you have the freedom to forgive them and do the hard long term work of putting your marriage back together. But as the innocent party, as the victim it's your judgement. And if you judge that they are not sincere or that this will happen again or they have truly ended the marriage, then you can move on in your life without guilt.
You say oh Pastor Steve is there any other exceptions? Yes in 1 Corinthians 7, it tells us the only other exception. It says but to the married I give the instructions, this is Paul speaking, he says, not I but the Lord says that the wife should not leave her husband, but if she leaves she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband and that the husband should not divorce his wife.
And what he is talking about here again is times where you have to be separated, but if you have to be separated and adultery is not involved, that you have to remain unmarried because in God's eyes you are still married to that person in a spiritual sense.
But then he goes on in verse 12 to say but to the rest I say, Paul saying I say not the Lord, I'm giving my opinion is what Paul is saying here.
That if any brother has a wife who's an unbeliever and she consents to live with him he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. What he's saying is if you find yourself in a situation where you were both non-Christians and you got married and then you became a Christian, if the non-Christian spouse wants to stay with you he says you are not bound to it, it's not the Lord's command you have to stay with him, but my opinion, my encouragement, is for you to stay with them because staying with them perhaps you can lead them to the Lord in the relationship that you have. But then what he goes on to say in verse 15 he says, yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave, the brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases but God has called us to peace. For how do you know wife whether or not you'll save your husband or how do you know oh husband whether you'll save your wife? What he's saying there is if you are married to a non-believer and the unbeliever does not want to stay married to you, you are free as if you were never married, just like in adultery, and you are free to marry.
God's purpose, God's plan is one man for one woman for one lifetime. Sometimes that ends when an unfaithful spouse doesn't wanna be married to you anymore and if they have been unfaithful then you are free to move on with your life. There are times when you get a divorce before you are a christian, and you realize that you've remarried and you shouldn't have ever remarried, you just confess that, and God has forgiven that you say well, Steve do I need to divorce my second wife and go back to my first one? No, no, no, no, no.
You keep God's perfect plan in the relationship that you're in. Does divorce mean that you have a lifetime banned from serving in a significant way? Not at all, we have people on our staff who were divorced before they became a Christian. We have people in our staff who were divorced after they became a Christian and have an un-biblical divorce, but they have confessed that before God and God has forgiven them for that.
We have folks who are all across our church who are in leadership positions who didn't have a choice and the divorce that they have they don't need to bear any guilt for, because it was in the realm of God's will, they either had no choice or their spouse committed adultery or it was a situation where they were married to a unbeliever and the unbeliever no longer wanted to be married to them and they were free.
Let me tell you a true story that we have many of, but this is just one and I have asked permission to share this story. It's the story of Billy and Leanne Hill. They were married back in 2002 and shortly after that about a year after that, they had their first son then several years later they had another son and life got really busy for them.
They got busy and work and going back to school, parenting and all the other things that make you get busy and they found themselves living two separate lives. They had separate television programs that they enjoyed watching, they had separate friends, they had separate holidays, vacations.
They just found themselves living apart, both of them came to a point where they were actually breaking their marital vows. And as a third child came and they went into counseling but it was almost like it was too little too late and they just felt like the past and the water that was under the bridge was just more than they could handle and so they separated and then shortly after that separation they got a divorce.
Kids were eight, five and one at the time. And then God started doing what only God could do they started attending here at Lakepointe, started attending church together even though they were divorced with their children. They got involved with a marital counseling here and got some good Biblical advice about how to work through some of the difficulties of their past and how to communicate better with one another and they started attending re-engage.
Re-engage is a great marriage enrichment program that meets here at our church every Tuesday night. Where truths are presented and people get into groups and do some of the hard work that you have to do to make a marriage stronger or rebuild a marriage that has fallen apart. Then in 2012, on June the 24th Billy and Leanne Hill remarried each other.
And put their family back together again. Now that's a story that I could tell. Over and over and over again. I could tell you the names of a dozen people off the top of my head who tried to do it themselves and tried to do it their way and and did what they thought would bring them the greatest happiness but finally came to the point of desperation but they put it in the hands of Jesus and Jesus did what only Jesus could do.