A divorce costs more than just the divorce rate. Take a moment for yourself to watch this important video if you are considering divorce.
So here is what it says. If you say we have no sin we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If however we can confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Sometimes we make a mistake and one of the mistakes that we make is the mistakes that we make is the mistake of divorce and if we'll just go ahead and admit that, we'll go ahead and say I was wrong, I did not do it the way God said to do it, did not give it the chance that God said I should give it.
Then what God will do is he'll forgive us and it's just like every other sin. It can be cleansed from us. Now I want to just say that there are some who are divorced here today and you did not sin. You were the dragee. It was not your choice, sometimes you file for divorce but you file for divorce because you had no choice.
Because the relationship had already been destroyed by someone else because of their adultery. But also please note that when a divorce takes place, at least one person in that marriage will have sinned. Somebody made a mistake that they need to own and they need to confess so they can move past that.
In the past the church has been very judgmental about divorce and they've done it in several ways. First of all they've condemned all divorces and the Bible says that divorce is not only allowable in some cases, it's understandable. Also we have made divorce a unique sin. And according to the book of James, all sins are alike.
Certainly there are some sins that have greater consequences. If I lied to my wife it doesn't hurt her as much as if I murder my wife okay, I understand that. But according to James that I'm just as guilty is if I lie or is if I murder, in both of them are disobedience from God and the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses us from all sin but somehow, the Church is trying to put divorce in a separate category.
And as a result, it creates a lifetime ban from forgiveness and from serving in a meaningful way. And certainly there are consequences to any sin and especially, or not especially but also the sin of divorce but one of those consequences are not perpetual guilt and it's not a lifetime ban from meaningful service.
I think almost all of us can agree that the church needs to be more compassionate when it comes to divorce. However, in our effort to become compassionate, the Bible does not give us the option to say that divorce is always okay. Because sometimes it's not, and sometimes it's very serious.
It's not compassionate to those who are considering to divorce to dismiss God's commands about marriage. It's not compassionate to the next generation who are looking at our lives as an example and a model. Marcia and I, this summer will have been married for 44 years and as I look back over those 44 years, Marcia describes those first three years of our marriage as the worst years of her life.
And I confess, I'm the one who's guilty about that. And there have been some other years in there that have been tough years, but, the reason we stayed together for 44 years is not because we are better Christians than everybody or that we tried harder or that we know more, the reason is that before we got married we looked in the scriptures and we saw that divorce was not an option.
It just wasn't, it was never anything that was discussed, it was never anything that was approached even in the toughest times of our marriage, it wasn't an option. Marcia said, murder was, at times. But never divorce. And when it's not an option then you get really creative about trying to figure out how to work through the difficulties instead of taking those same difficulties to your second, and your third, and perhaps even your fourth marriage.
I remember the day that I thought to myself, I'm stuck with this woman the rest of my life, I'd better figure out how to love her and how to communicate to her and how to accept her faults and encourage her to accept mine. There's a real caution here when we begin talking about God's grace as it relates to any sin.
And the caution is that we would look and say well you know, since God would forgive any sin, let's just go ahead and sin. Premeditated confession. Something wrong with that. In Romans the sixth chapter Paul deals with that issue and he says when sin amounts grace abounds all the more and somebody might say well then let's just sin more.
And here's what Paul says to that, he says God forbid that you would take that attitude. Do you not understand that God made boundaries because He loves us, He's trying to protect us and He's trying to provide for us. Be like if I get in a car and I got drunk and I broke the speed limit and I ran into a tree and broke all my limbs, and then a police came up he said, I wanna give you grace you deserve a ticket, you deserve to go to jail, lose your license but I'm gonna forgive you there's grace.
I am still in a heap of trouble. Because there's damage that takes place to ourselves, there's damage that takes place to our children, there's damage that takes place to the name of Jesus Christ any time we have premeditated confession. So here, first of all, God's grace, divorce is not the unpardonable sin.
You can be divorced and not even have committed to sin if you're the innocent party. But if you have committed a sin, you need to come to God and own it, and not feel like you have to put a spin on it or somehow change the scripture to make yourself feel better. It's not necessary, God will forgive, you can move on with your life.
But the second thing we must also consider, is we must consider God's plan. One man, for one woman, for one lifetime. That's God's plan. And there are several reasons for that one is that God wants to provide fellowship for us in marriage. The scripture says in Genesis, that God looked down and He said it's not good that man should be alone.