107- Dealing with Disappointment
What To Do When I'm Disappointed
Courage Cast Episode 107- Dealing with Disappointment
Courage Cast Podcast - Faith, Inspiration and Motivation for Today
Eric Nordhoff - Christian entrepreneur, encourager and leader of the Courageous Community
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This is Courage Cast, faith, inspiration and motivation for today. Well, hey friends, this is Eric Nordhoff and you're listening to another episode of Courage Cast. It is so, so good to be with you guys again. I'm really looking forward to, but I'm a little bit scared to talk about what I'm going to talk about next, because it's quite vulnerable for me, but that's okay. That's what this is all about, just a few seconds of courage is all it takes and off we go. Let me just summarize ... Well, let me tell the story that I want to tell. I'm going to keep names out of this because it's particularly sensitive, and it's still pretty raw for me.
My Personal Story of Disappointment
We talked about Unglued in the midst of raw emotions, and that's certainly something that my wife and I experienced last week. Last week at the end of the week, on Friday, we learned through a third party that some dear friends of ours who we had been very actively sharing with and openly talking about, joining our doTERRA team, had decided to go with someone else. That's not the full story, there's more to the story, in that, that they spent the last 4 months without us even knowing, they spent researching and they had some other relationships that they were able to make contact with, that would be able to give them a greater opportunity to grow and be successful in doTERRA.
You know what? That happens. That happens, and it was very hard to hear, it was particularly hard to hear from a third party, not from them directly and that's probably what hurt us the most was that that happened. I'm grateful using the principles that we talked about on Monday, I'm grateful that we didn't just suppress those, and we didn't just stuff those inside, because that would have just been like a cancer to us. It would have harmed us from the inside out had we left it there. I'm grateful that we confronted the issue, I'm grateful that we talked about it. Now, I talked about on Monday being the exploder by nature, and there were certainly bits of me that had explosive elements in my first conversation with them, with our friends.
Why Is It Important To Have Community
I really came very quickly to the point of after processing after a couple of days and having deep conversations and seeking out community in our life. I find it very interesting that all of the aspects of the conversations that I had with Elizabeth, that I shared with you this week, about her multiple sclerosis and the things she did. I find it very interesting that the things in Unglued also played a major role. I'm going to summarize my entire experience, my personal story, and also summarize what we learned this week. My main take away is from this week. First of all, with Elizabeth's story, she was faced with a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis.
Now, that is a scary thing to hear, but we always see in movies how someone just found the resolve on their own to be able to overcome. That's not what Elizabeth did. She went to her friends, she went to her family, she sort out community, she had community around her. She made that community and she openly expressed within reason, what she was dealing with. She sort out those people who could get around her and encourage her. I'm sure there were people, and we didn't really dive into this, but I'm sure there were people she had a difficult time with, who didn't encourage her, or who disappointed her, just as Krissy had the same experience when she had lime disease.
There were people that were on her side, and there were people that didn't quite understand and didn't really want to be in that conversation, and that community, and that's just fine. You realize who you want to surround yourself with, especially when you're dealing with adversity. I love the fact that she was honest about her issues, and she still is. I've seen a Facebook live that she's done recently where she's talked about her issues. The post of course that she wrote on her blog is all about being honest, but then surrounding herself with good community and good people, that are going to speak life into her, that's so important.
It doesn't have to be many, just has to be strong loud voices that are speaking life into you, so may that be an encouragement to you. We found the same thing in our trial on Friday and Saturday, as we have an amazing up-line in our doTERRA business. We have amazing leaders who empathized with us and cared for us and spoke life into us, and helped us to process, because I'm an external processor, really helped me to process to talk to somebody about this issue. What we came to the conclusion was, that this really was the better decision for them for these friends of ours, they really ... If I had the same opportunity I would have probably done it as well.
Honest Communication Is Important
The thing that was missing was the communication. The honest communication, and putting us first and for that, they've apologized and we've forgiven them, and we are moving on. Not to say that we probably won't be as close as we were, but we're moving on, and we're moving on because they're fellow believers just like we are, and we may have realized that we're not on the same plain with things, and that's okay. You've realize that in crucial conversations, but you can live in forgiveness when you put Christ at the center of your life. In the center of your soul you can live and work out forgiveness and reconciliation with other people.
Quotes About Gratefulness
The next thing that I took away which was a major thing was, the antidote for despair is gratefulness. Elizabeth talked at length about gratefulness, and thankfulness, and starting out her day, finishing her day, and through out the day, finding things, and people, and circumstances, and issues to be thankful for. Finding all the things in your life that you can be grateful for, instead of focusing so much on the things that you aren't grateful for, and the things that are going wrong in your life. She was very honest about this, she obviously ... We all by our human nature, will go to feeling sorry for ourselves.
There's a part that that plays, and we need to give room for other people who are still on that self pity mode to be in that for a little bit. We just need to give grace, and give room for people to be in that. At some point, whenever the time is right, it's time to take responsibility for the issue that you have and begin to speak out gratefulness even if you can't imagine finding a way to feel that way, to feel grateful. You have to speak the truth of gratefulness before you can actually feel it. At some point when you're ready, start speaking gratefulness.
How To Be Grateful
That's what we've been able to do. I was pretty down, over the weekend, I was distraught I was in despair, about the situation with our friends, and I felt sorry for myself. I felt sorry for us, and I was angry at them, but I took sometime to get away and hear from God. Begin to get grateful, and thankful for all the things that I have and the way that God is leading me uniquely. The way that God is leading Krissy and I uniquely, in our business, in our lives, and we came to a peace of knowing that this was the right thing for them, and this was the right thing for us. We're grateful for that, but even if you can't get grateful for the despair that you're in, you can start to think about all the other things that you can be grateful for.
Because for every one thing that you might not be grateful for, that you're upset about, or feeling sorry for yourself about, I'm sure there are 10, or 20 things that you can think of that you can be grateful for, all right? Even when those things are looming, even if it's 5, or 6 things that are frustrating you right now, you can think ... Multiply that by 10 of things that you can be grateful for. Do that, that's what I took away from the message on my conversation with Elizabeth. Then finally, honesty mixed with peacemaking leads to soul integrity, I like to think of it this way. This comes from that book Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst, I like to think about it as a soul surrendered, is when we finally recognize that what we have in Christ ... That we have a new life in Christ and that what he made us is new.
Inspirational Bible Quotes
We have a new past, a new present, and a new future in Christ. We have his past, his present and his future, and that is good news for us. When our soul begins to surrender to him, and we get off of our throne as I've talked about in the past, and we begin to make him the center of our lives, we see things in a new light. We see things with a different purpose and a greater purpose. We see things through his eyes and his purpose, and then we can begin to bless others. We cannot only love him, and worship him more clearly, and deeply, but we can also love others which is ... These are the 2 greatest commandments, love him and love others.
That's what this is all about, so experiencing that cross between honesty, and peacemaking, not peacekeeping. Peacekeeping stuffs things, peacekeeping holds things back. We are not about stuffing and internally processing, it's okay to have a good mix of external processing and internal processing as well as external expressing and internal suppressing. There's just a good balance between honesty and peacemaking in your life that you'll find and that comes when your soul is surrendered. Surrender to the one who made you, who created you, who loves you, who's given you an inheritance and eternal life, past, present and future.
Who I Am In Christ
That my friends is good news, and that is a good way to finish the week. If you're having conflict in your life with someone else, these are the things that you can utilize. These are the resources available to you, that can help you, pull you out of the situation. That plus a great deal of prayer and a great deal of dependence upon, and surrender to you heavenly father who loves you very much. Well, that's it from me friends, if you liked what we talked about this week, share about it in the Courageous Community, at courageouscommunity.com. Write a rating and review on iTunes, give us a rating we'd love to hear from you. Then download your free download of "Who I am In Christ" at courageouscommunity.com. Well, friends that's it from me, I'm Eric Nordhoff, and I'll be back with you again on another episode of Courage Cast.
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