So I was looking atangerthis
week and I ran across a phrase that I've not heard before and it's IPV. IPV
stands for intimate personal violence. In other words a violence that is brought against someone by someone they know
in an intimate way. A domestic violence or violence from a parent to child or child to a parent.
What's amazing about that is that
happens once every 20 seconds in the United States of America. Happens 12
million times and that doesn't count the folks who don't report it. That
doesn't count other kinds of violence, violence of a stranger to a stranger. It
doesn't count verbal violence, it
doesn't count emotional violence.
We have a problem withangerin America. But it's not just in that larger sense, it's not
just in the criminal sense but also all of us struggle with anger. Can we just
get real about anger this week? That
we all at sometime get angry? How
many of you were angry sometime this
week? Would you raise your hand with me, all right look at that okay - good this is the right group.
Those of you who are watching us online I'm
sure you're raising your hand at home or angry that you couldn't be here today I don't know. It wasn't too long ago that
Marsha and I were going somewhere and in the process of going we were running
late but we needed to get a bite to eat and so we just grabbed the first fast
food place that was on our way, and I won't tell you the name of the restaurant
because I don't want to be critical of the restaurant.
But the guy who owns it, his head looks like a
ping pong ball. So we pulled into the parking lot and there was amazingly about
12 cars in line and I thought this is not going to work. So I said to Marsha
I'm going to run in, I think it will be quicker if I run in and Marsha said no,
no, no, just stay in the car. It will be
quicker if we stay in the car. So I ran into the restaurant.
And when I got in there I knew there was
a problem because there were two people in front of me. The greater problem
there was there was nobody behind the counter. And so I stood there for a while
and nobody was doing anything. Finally somebody in the kitchen noticed that
there was no one behind the counter and said, there's nobody behind the
So then a guy who was doing the fries stepped
over the counter and I thought, well good, we'll make some progress here.
Apparently, he had never stood before the cash register before and it didn't
get any better. Then finally the guy who was supposed to be behind the counter
who was taking the trash out came in and the fry guy went back for the fries
and I thought okay now we can make some progress, he knew less about the cash
register than the fry guy.
Well you can imagine what's happening, I am
seething, I am getting angry and I
am thinking to myself, okay I just had a moment of self awareness. I'm
thinking, I am really mad. Why am I mad about a fast food place? And then I realize,
because it wasn't fast. Besides that Marsha was waiting in the car with
an “I told you so.”
All right? Have you been there?
We've all been there, haven't we? So I want us to talk anger today if you have a Bible with you I invite you to turn with
me to Ephesians the fourth chapter and we are going to look at a scripture
there and a few other scriptures. If you don't happen to have a Bible, I invite
you to look on the back of your worship guide. It's listed there for
convenience and it'll be on the screen as well.
Quotes About Anger
In Ephesians the forth chapter Paul is writing and as he writes
these words he says, “therefore lay aside falsehood, speak truth each one of
you with his neighbor for we are members of one another. Be angry and yet do not sin. Do not let
the sun go down on your anger, and
do not give the devil an opportunity.”
Now this is a very interesting scripture.
I remember years and years ago when I
read it for the very first time it kind of surprised me because here is a
command in the Bible to beangry, and what it's saying is, that once you get there, just be there. Once you are
there, there is not a whole lot that you can do about it.
It's kind of like when you have a cold it
doesn't matter if you caught a cold because you didn't wash your hands enough,
or you were around places and you weren't careful, or if it were that somebody
walked up and surprised you and sneezed on you. It doesn't matter whose fault
it is, if you are there then have a cold.
But if you're going to have a cold, then
do it in a God honoring way. He says that if you're going to be angry, process
your anger. And so I want us to talk
about how to process our anger and,
by the way, later on we're going to read a scripture from James that says the anger of man does not accomplish the
rightness of God or the righteousness of God.
How to Control Anger and Frustration
There is a righteous anger. It's when we are angry about the things that God
is angry about. You remember when
Jesus came into the temple and there were some money changers that were
cheating the foreigners who were there who came to sacrifice to God and they
were cheating them in exchange of money.And Jesus got angry
about that. And it was a righteous indignation. You remember that he turned
over money tables and he took a whip and he ran those people out of the temple
and he said this is supposed to be a place of prayer and you've made it a den
of thieves. And so it's okay to be angry sometimes, sometimes the anger is a
righteous anger, but even righteous anger can be displayed and processed in an unrighteous way.
And so when we find ourselves angry and, by the show of hands this
morning we find ourselves there on a fairly regular basis, don't we? When we
find ourselves, sometimes it surprises, it sneaks up on us and all of a sudden
we are overwhelmed by a tsunami of emotions and once we get our feet out, get
our feet under us again and we realize okay, self awareness, I'm angry, what do we do to honor God in
that anger? And that's what we want
to look at today.