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I Feel Hopeless and Worthless

I Feel Hopeless and Worthless

I struggled with feelings of worthlessness and depression pretty much my whole life. I was raised in a church home, but walked away from the church at a very early age. Also at a very early age I got involved in drug usage and abuse. Got out of that, but still struggled with various other addictions. 

Feeling Worthless and Hopeless

Then in my 30s, so many things finally fell into place told me that there's only one place to look for hope - Christ. I always felt worthless, and I even struggled at times with the thoughts of suicide. It dawned on me one day that everything that I disliked about religion and church had nothing to do with the word of God, but with people, who are flawed - all of us, myself included - and that was very freeing. Just just the other day I was having a very bad day; a lot of things from my past was just whirling through my mind. I said “I’ve just got to sit down and focus and concentrate and pray.” I sat down in the Word, and the first thing - first verse that was there was the words of Jesus saying “My grace is sufficient for you.” 

Feelings of Worthlessness

After a week of wondering, “what's going on, and why are things not getting better?” I opened that - just opened it, didn’t look specifically for anything. And it just reminded me again and again that that’s where I need to go when things are tough, I need to go to the Word of God.  You try to rely on yourself and you can't do it - it’ll wear you out. And I still do it, even knowing what I know I know. But I know that if I go to the Word that it reminds me every time that His grace is sufficient.